Photos reveal the changes of the past year.
May 2, 2015: I attended a Kentucky Derby “High Tea” with some friends. I was actually pregnant, but it was too early to have a positive at-home test. But I suspected that I might be. I did not drink any alcohol at the tea, prompting one of my friends to ask “Are you pregnant??” To which I responded “No, no, no.” A few days later, I was able to give her a different answer.
June 22, 2015: Family vacation in Hawaii to celebrate my uncles’ marriage. I was about 10 weeks pregnant and had horrible morning sickness. Sometimes I had to cut activities short due to the combination of vomiting and fatigue. We announced that we were having a girl on this trip.
October 17, 2015: To celebrate my birthday, we went to see Blue Man Group. This was about 6 weeks after we lost Nelle. I can see the pain in my face.
December 27, 2015: With my grandma, my dad, and my kids – four generations. I was about 9 weeks pregnant with Iris. I was excited and terrified.
April 1, 2016: Family vacation in Arizona. About six weeks after we lost Iris. The last day of my 30-day Grief Writing course was the first day of vacation, so I was feeling a bit lost.
And now. Nearly eight months after losing Nelle. Two and a half months after losing Iris. In a holding pattern for at least four more months. Six weeks after starting hot yoga. Still not completely back to pre-pregnancy weight, but close. Weaning off of anti-depressants. Still in therapy. Still relying on writing to deal with my grief.
My family is prevalent throughout the photos. They surround me.