Musings Out Loud

Musings Out Loud

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a wastepaper basket overflowing with crumpled pieces of paper, watercolor

Stop Publishing Garbage on the Internet

I'm offended by crappy writing.

Image created via Midjourney

My Eyes, My Work

I've realized how much can change in a minute. What if something happens to my sight?

a long-haired cat with black and white fur lying on the ground, looking at something off in the distance, watercolor

Adopting a Cat

I know. I can't adopt a new cat every Christmas. But maybe just one more...

The Riverwalk in San Antonio, watercolor art

Someone I Used to Know

This person left a hole in my life.

Watercolor of a sorrowful woman looking into the distance surrounded by red flowers

Feeling Seen

I'll continue to write because grief deserves to be seen.

watercolor of an unexpected path in life

An Unexpected Path in Life

I spent the morning thinking about my grandma.

watercolor of a mercury thermometer

Fighting Sickness

I've got to balance "getting better" with "getting caught up."

watercolor of a young woman staring out of the window on the passenger side of a car with tears rolling down her cheeks

Singing Amazing Grace

I felt like I couldn't breathe under the enormity of grief.

watercolor painting of a woman doing yoga in front of a calming river

Back in the Hot Room

It felt good to return to my yoga practice.

watercolor of a sad lonely pumpkin patch

The Ups and Downs of Halloween

Halloween isn't my favorite holiday but my kids love it.

watercolor of a simple birthday cake with candle

I'm a year older and keep changing career directions

My birthday felt surreal this year, for many reasons.

watercolor of an iris with a sunset in the background

Gathering With My People

The annual Walk to Remember, honoring all babies lost, has been an important event for me ever since I first attended in 2016. It had grown to almost 1,000 attendees per year — continued growth a continued reminder that more and more people join the world of pregnancy loss every

watercolor infinity pool with mountains in the background

The Math Doesn't Work Out

I'm trying to build for the future. But will it pay off?

watercolor of red maple leaves on a tree

The Colors Are Coming

No doubt Fall is here.

a watercolor of a zoo far off in the distance

I Don't Expect to Arrive

I think of everything that could go wrong.

watercolor of a park bench on a rainy day

Growing Up

I'm so proud of the person my son is growing up to be.

watercolor a tree with red fall leaves near a calm pond

It's That Time of Year

It is Nelle's birthday. And I have to give myself some grace.

watercolor school supplies on a small desk

Back to School

The first days of a new school year are always hard.

watercolor a slice of strawberry shortcake on a blue plate

Five Years

My guilt became overwhelming. My daughter deserved a party and I blew it.

watercolor a single daisy in a field with gray clouds in the background

The Language of Losing Friends

Preserving friendships: Knowing when to work hard and when to let go — that’s the difficult part.

watercolor looking out a window at trees on a rainy day

I Still Cry Sometimes

Crying in my car was a reminder that no matter how much time passes, I always carry grief.

watercolor a blue vase with lots of cracks and chips

Fixing Things

Here I am. Trying to fix things. Trying to move, keep busy, and not let myself think too much.