Musings Out Loud

holidays

Singing Amazing Grace

I felt like I couldn't breathe under the enormity of grief.

current events

The End of Community

Losing a community is hard, especially when the loss is not by choice.

yoga

Back in the Hot Room

It felt good to return to my yoga practice.

sharing my story

Can I Talk About My Babies?

It has gotten easier to talk about pregnancy loss.

Halloween

The Ups and Downs of Halloween

Halloween isn't my favorite holiday but my kids love it.

birthdays

I'm a year older and keep changing career directions

My birthday felt surreal this year, for many reasons.

Gathering With My People

The annual Walk to Remember, honoring all babies lost, has been an important event for me ever since I first attended in 2016. It had grown to almost 1,000 attendees per year — continued growth a continued reminder that more and more people join the world of pregnancy loss every

career

The Math Doesn't Work Out

I'm trying to build for the future. But will it pay off?

seasons

The Colors Are Coming

No doubt Fall is here.

anxiety

I Don't Expect to Arrive

I think of everything that could go wrong.

birthdays

Growing Up

I'm so proud of the person my son is growing up to be.

birthdays

It's That Time of Year

It is Nelle's birthday. And I have to give myself some grace.

Back to School

The first days of a new school year are always hard.

sharing my story

The Best News

I had to make a choice to be vulnerable.

birthdays

Five Years

My guilt became overwhelming. My daughter deserved a party and I blew it.

friendship

The Language of Losing Friends

Preserving friendships: Knowing when to work hard and when to let go — that’s the difficult part.

grief

I Still Cry Sometimes

Crying in my car was a reminder that no matter how much time passes, I always carry grief.

home

Fixing Things

Here I am. Trying to fix things. Trying to move, keep busy, and not let myself think too much.

current events

The Irrational and Rational

It's hard to tell my brain to turn off those irrational fears because they seem rational.

abortion rights

Lost Freedom

Since I recognized the slump I’m in, I’m doing the best I can to pull myself forward.

abortion rights

Feeling Scattered

We’re not supposed to live in a constant state of turmoil, fear, and devastation.

career

The Work of Summer

Summer always seems to bring an inevitable slowdown, both in work and life.

COVID-19

The End of the School Year

Another school year has drawn to a close.

current events

Anguished Screams

I had to just pretend that I wasn’t completely broken inside.

writing

What Is Missing

All I’m missing now is time. I still have to “fit” writing into my overall schedule.