How I Sleep Now
Sleep is hard.
Once I felt like a human being again (at inpatient rehab), the worst hours of my day were between 7pm and 7am.
Dinner would arrive sometime between 5pm and 6pm. Almost always terrible. Breakfast wouldn't arrive until 8am, so overnight hunger was a real issue until I had my family bring/store snacks in my room.
But the problem that has persisted, even after I arrived home, is that I don't sleep soundly. I'm exhausted, so I fall asleep around 7pm, but then wake up throughout the night, usually several times. I'm awake for more than an hour. At least at home, I feel less trapped when I wake up during the night. In the hospital and rehab facility, I was stuck in my bed.
Last night, for example, I woke up at 11pm and again at 3am. A lot of times, I'm stiff or sore because I can't position myself in bed the way I normally would. I have to sleep on one side. By itself, that's not terrible, as I'm a side sleeper anyway, but Before surgery, I would frequently flip sides during the night. I can't do that now.
I tried putting pressure on the incision side of my head yesterday. That lasted about three seconds and was a firm, "Nope, not ready yet." It's still too tender. I'll try again in a few days.
For a period of time, I slept with a neck pillow in the hospital, to hold my head in a straight position. Sleeping on my side is better than that, but not "normal" sleep.
I've tried listening to audiobooks and podcasts to entertain myself, but I fall asleep way too easily. I'm an avid podcast listener and so far behind on all of my favorite shows.
At home, I'm sleeping in our guest room. Bought a different mattress for the daybed in the room before surgery and have created a cocoon-like sleeping situation with lots of pillows, including a body pillow. I keep the room fairly dark most of the time, since too much light can be overwhelming for me. The room makes it easy for me to drift in and out of sleep as needed.
I saw my PCP this week in a follow-up visit. She said she could prescribe a sleep aid, but my experiences with those in the past is that they make me groggy and I'm trying to avoid that feeling. I get enough sleep, it's just not very satisfying sleep.
I'm also exhausted during the day. I had two days of physical therapy this week and needed long naps after.
So I feel "sort-of" human during the day. A very exhausted human. I thought back to my other post-op experiences, mostly after three c-sections. There was no break; no reprieve because I had a newborn to take care of. No time to focus on my exhaustion. This is different, because I have help. I don't have to get up to do anything.
Next week, I have to go to Chicago for a follow-up with the neurosurgeon, which will be several hours between the drive into the city, the appointment, and the drive home. I'm exhausted just thinking about it.
Anna Burgess Yang