The Things I Do Now

Before surgery, the neurosurgeon told me that recovery would be 6 weeks (maybe longer), but no one could really tell me what "recovery" would look like. What would I be able to do? What would I not be able to do?

Here's what I've got going on right now, with kind of an indeterminate amount of time before I'm back to "normal."

I drink through a straw. Because of facial paralysis on one side, I can't drink normally from a cup. That means coffee over ice in the morning, and I realized that my coffee pot has an "over ice" setting! For food, I have to chew on the right side – mostly soft food at this point, or I have to "gum down" the food so it's easy to swallow.

I wear a pirate patch over one eye. My left eyelid doesn't open and close normally, and I have double vision. I wear a contact lens in my right eye and a patch over my left eye. With this combo, I can see decently ok (enough to type for short periods of time at my computer and use my phone). I have to tape my left eye shut at night to prevent damage to my cornea while I sleep.

Sleep is uncomfortable. I'm a side sleeper anyway, but I flip sides a lot during the night. I can't do that because of the incision on my left skull/neck. Once it heals more, I expect I'll start to flip naturally again, but I wake up stiff. I've been using lidocaine patches to help my sore shoulder muscles. I also have to change my pillowcase daily, per the doctor's instructions.

I spit into a cup when I brush my teeth. I can't bend over at all, which includes things you wouldn't think of, like bending over a sink to spit when brushing teeth. So I have to bring a cup to my mouth, spit, and dump it out. Same with mouthwash. I'm a pretty flexible person, so I'm able to bring my legs up to me to tie my shoes and stuff, and I also have an underrated skill of picking things up with my toes.

I'm using my phone and computer in grayscale. The color contrast is just too much. Playing Wordle is interesting as I try to squint to tell what shade of gray I'm being shown for the yellow/green letters.

Thankfully, I've had very little pain at home. I can manage with OTC Tylenol. The first few days in the hospital were pretty miserable (like any surgery), but the doctors got the pain under control and now I'm far enough out from the surgery that pain isn't an issue.

Brain Tumor

Life has delivered a curveball.

Musings Out LoudAnna Burgess Yang