Musings Out Loud (Page 2)

Musings Out Loud

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watercolor school supplies on a small desk

Back to School

The first days of a new school year are always hard.

watercolor a slice of strawberry shortcake on a blue plate

Five Years

My guilt became overwhelming. My daughter deserved a party and I blew it.

watercolor a single daisy in a field with gray clouds in the background

The Language of Losing Friends

Preserving friendships: Knowing when to work hard and when to let go — that’s the difficult part.

watercolor looking out a window at trees on a rainy day

I Still Cry Sometimes

Crying in my car was a reminder that no matter how much time passes, I always carry grief.

watercolor a blue vase with lots of cracks and chips

Fixing Things

Here I am. Trying to fix things. Trying to move, keep busy, and not let myself think too much.

watercolor of abstract geometric shapes

The Irrational and Rational

It's hard to tell my brain to turn off those irrational fears because they seem rational.

watercolor an american flag in a field with a sunrise in the background

abortion rights

Lost Freedom

Since I recognized the slump I’m in, I’m doing the best I can to pull myself forward.

watercolor a lonely monarch butterfly on a small flower

abortion rights

Feeling Scattered

We’re not supposed to live in a constant state of turmoil, fear, and devastation.

watercolor watermelon on a picnic table

The Work of Summer

Summer always seems to bring an inevitable slowdown, both in work and life.

watercolor an apple and a pencil on a desk

The End of the School Year

Another school year has drawn to a close.

watercolor silhouette of mountains with lightning

Anguished Screams

I had to just pretend that I wasn’t completely broken inside.

watercolor a small bench under a large tree

What Is Missing

All I’m missing now is time. I still have to “fit” writing into my overall schedule.

watercolor sunflowers in a white vase

Mother's Day Is Complicated

I don’t need a special day of acknowledgment. Nor do I want it, as a bereaved mother

watercolor dreams soaring across a starry sky

A Dream I Had

I’ve had dreams in the past where I immediately start sobbing upon hearing the news that my baby had died. Not this time.

watercolor pink fluffy clouds

parenting after loss

In the Clouds

Instead of letting my daughter create a fantasy world, I decided to give her some facts.

watercolor delicate pink baby booties

Wanting Sisters

With my daughter, it’s so much more than simply "the youngest child" or "the baby of the family."

watercolor a canoe on a calm lake

Some Time Away

I like routine, a lot. But I have also appreciated this break.

watercolor glowing embers from a fire

Burnout Has Changed Me

The more I read about burnout, the more I realize that the path to recovery is not a short one.

watercolor a bunch of birthday balloons

The Third Pandemic Birthday

This year, my son's birthday felt normal again.

watercolor light at the end of a dark path

How Far We've Come

I no longer feel like I'm staring down a dark tunnel with no visible light.

watercolor small monarch butterfly on a windowsill

We Will Be Ok

My children turn to me for reassurance and I try to provide it.

watercolor ripple in a small pond

A Quiet Day

Sometimes, when devastating things are happening in the world, I'll shut down.

watercolor a barren tree on a snowy day

Out of Options

It has now been 23 months since our schools first shut down.

watercolor a single slice of strawberry cake with one birthday candle

A Cake Too Early

I still don't know what to do about a cake.