marriage - Musings Out Loud

Musings Out Loud

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marriage

A collection of 19 posts

abstract watercolor illustration looking at the backs of a young boy and girl sitting on a bench looking at a pond

When We Were Young

I would like to think that we have had our fill of the hard things.

abstract watercolor illustration of paper hearts on a string

It's Never Just Valentine's Day

I was feeling anxious and down all week.

dark angry clouds over a mountain

The Language About What Happened

I know what that's like to never see my child again.

an empty room with wooden floors and large windows

Dreaming About a House

Personal self-discovery wasn't what I was expecting.

a silhouette of birds flying away from a large tree in the distance

Ninety Minutes for Me

I really needed a break.

watercolor a spiral

Recognizing That Reaction

I would like to think that I acted at the right moment, in the right way — but who knows.

a pink heart surrounded by abstract purple trees

Reliving a Moment

I have had my heart broken.

abstract watercolor illustration of a pocketbook on a table

Planning for the Future

How do we make our goals happen?

abstract watercolor illustration a bag with glasses, a cup of coffee and sunglasses

Reclaiming the Morning

I could not wipe away all of the fatigue in a single afternoon.

a field of flowers

Those Dates, All Over Again

The day. January 14th. My wedding anniversary. This year, thirteen – lucky thirteen. While searching this morning for a quote to commemorate the day, I tripped across the following: A strong marriage rarely has two strong people at the same time. It is a husband and wife who take turns being

A Difference in Perception

When talking last weekend about our Door County vacation, Ger said “That was a great vacation. I really enjoyed myself.” I blinked and said “Really? What parts did you enjoy?” He began to rattle things off: seeing a new place, seeing how much fun the kids had, all of the

Practicing Gratitude in Many Ways

I began seeing a therapist, Alexia, five days after Nelle was stillborn. I remember making the phone call to a counseling services group that had been recommended to me and when asked for the reason for wanting the appointment I had to say the words out loud “Because… because my

In Honor of a Father

This past weekend was Father’s Day. Celebration, reflection, and sometimes hard. I cannot make it through Mother’s Day without thinking about the two babies that we lost. How can I not, when their birthdays are tattooed on my back, an ever-present reminder that I have five children? I

abstract watercolor illustration of two wedding rings on top of a lace doily

For Better or Worse

I can't pretend that nothing is going on

abstract watercolor illustration of a somber wedding bouquet

2.5 Years of Marriage Later

I have not shied away from admitting when I needed help.

That One Night

The kids have been in Arizona since Tuesday. At the time we planned for my parents to take them for a few days, it seemed like it would be a welcomed reprieve: late in pregnancy, days without early-morning wake-up calls, no swimming lessons or taekwondo, quiet evenings. Since they left

What Could Go Right

What Could Go Right

Stop being afraid of what could go wrong and start being positive about what could go right. Easier said than done. Ger finally told me that he feels positive about the outcome of this pregnancy. 27 weeks, pretty good place to be. I asked him if he thinks I will

Carry On, Warrior

Carry On, Warrior

Ger said to me last week “I’m worried about you.” I paused, and then replied “Have I done anything that causes you to worry? Because I thought I had been doing really well lately.” He acknowledged that it was a valid question. The source of his worry was that

Betrayal

Over the past several months, people have said things to me in the realm of “you’re so strong” or “you are handling this so well” or “you have inspired me.” Most of the time I feel undeserving, bandaged together by medication and therapy, hardly like I am handling this