sleep - Musings Out Loud

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sleep

A collection of 7 posts

How Sleep Has Changed

Sleep changed forever the day that I found out Nelle had died. Beginning in the hospital, I was unable to fall asleep for more than a few minutes throughout the more than 24-hours of labor. With each of my living babies, I struggled with breastfeeding. The first three or four

Dream On

I have had so many bad dreams. The one that reoccurred the most was a doctor telling me that something was wrong, or that I had lost a baby, followed by me screaming “No. No. NO!” I would wake from fitful sleep, often drenched in sweat or tangled in my

Giving Permission

Giving Permission

It is 3:00 am and I just finished feeding my baby. Not because she woke up crying and hungry. But because I wanted and needed to be with her. I had met a friend for dinner. Tucked the big kids in so that I was not leaving Ger to

Writing No Energy

Writing No Energy

No energy 2:00 am again cannot calm cannot sleep feeling nauseous worried about stress a bath sounds like too much work I love baths but cannot take one Best chance for sleep 9pm to midnight then up every hour or two up and down in and out of fitful

Up on the Roof

When this old world starts getting me down And people are just too much for me to face (Up on the roof) I climb way up to the top of the stairs And all my cares just drift right into space (Up on the roof) On the roof, it’s

Sleeping, Dreaming Mind

Sleeping, Dreaming Mind

My dreams have disturbed me lately. I thought I had finally moved on from images of babies and being gripped by fear, but over the past few days they have re-emerged. In one dream, I had lost Iris and then went to the doctor several weeks later complaining of stomach

From the Fog

I can feel myself shifting a bit. The past week was busy, leaving me less time to dwell too much on the moments of the past five weeks. I was able to enjoy my time with my family and my friends. I still had a few moments of profound sadness